life seems so slow as day passed by, despite of that slow days ahead my mind is kind of mess, probably its the opposite pair to even compare.
while sitting and being zoned out, while having bunch of tots in my mind everyday. I suddenly questioned myself in my mind
“despite of chaos in your life in the present, what makes you happy?”
to have deep contemplation on it, there’s a lot actually that doesn’t seem it crossed my mind even once.
nevertheless of having bunch of reason to list down everything, the first thing that crossed my mind is thinking about fantasy, the delusion. my friends even made this nickname called “delulu girl” certainly its all about my idea about guy i found attractive, like a person we actually know personally, but to the idea of delusion i’ll write here is not about exactly a person but a dream.
delusion about the dream i illicitly want to chase, want to grab, want to have.
delusion about the dream of having peace, in view of the fact that whenever i ask myself, “what makes you happy?” all my mind states that i’ll feel happy when i reach peace.
delusion of having peace is probably insane to even draw inside your head.
delusion of being nonchalant is a zigzag way to even contemplate.
and that makes me question everything, when am i able to stop having delusions to make things better in this war.
war without weapon , but war with bunch of questions and realizations that desperately begging for answers.
shesshy 